May 2009
8 posts
4 tags
May 31st
7 notes
3 tags
Gov. Gen. sparks outrage, ovation after gutting... →
Michaelle Jean just became 10 times more awesome in my book. My feelings on the seal hunt can be summed up by Jaques Costeau: “”The harp seal question is entirely emotional. We have to be logical. We have to aim our activity first to the endangered species. Those who are moved by the plight of the harp seal could also be moved by the plight of the pig - the way they are slaughtered...
May 27th
4 tags
May 20th
5 tags
May 20th
3 tags
May 17th
395 notes
2 tags
Dear Firefox,
If you could please stop randomly taking up 99% of my CPU usage every time you run, that would be awesome, thanks.
May 14th
3 tags
May 11th
3 tags
One Hundred Push-ups. →
Got this from aabukhader, when she posted the two-hundred situps site. I am on day 2 of week 1. My maximum was 12. I am weak and feeble to the MAX, yo.
May 10th
April 2009
13 posts
2 tags
Definitely
rachell: tylerpaige: hunsonisgroovy: The hardest word to spell correctly ever! It always comes out as: definitaly defiantly definitly definitley Rhythm. Always spell it wrong. I never have a problem with “definitely”, but when I was a kid I remember being so sure it was spelled “DEFINATELY”. I was so sure. Hm…  let me think.  I get stuck on “mediterranean”, or “subterranean” or...
Apr 30th
102 notes
3 tags
Apr 25th
196 notes
3 tags
greatwhiteshark: allpointsnorth: mrc: Whatever happened to Andrew WK? That stuff was ridiculous in all the best ways. I once knew a guy who was a really big fan of him. And then he met him and said to me: “Wow, that guy is a complete fucking idiot!” (Uh, no shit?) while describing how AWK tried to make his nose bleed for a crowd by punching himself in the face. It didn’t work on the first...
Apr 25th
3 tags
exercise
greatwhiteshark: This screenwriting book I just bought (I know, ugh) wants me to list my ten favorite movies and explain why they’re my favorites. So here goes: 2) Jurassic Park — A unique, memorable idea with a wise “don’t play god” moral. Also, a lot of elements come together to fuck stuff up (bad weather, that guy who plays Newman, frog DNA). Dude, you forgot that when you were six (?)...
Apr 23rd
2 tags
“Set up a torrent tracker, get fined, go to jail. Join a bank, destroy the...”
– The Real Pirate Bay - Umair Haque (via catbird) Micro/macro (via standardgrey) (via tba) (via lumber) QFT
Apr 20th
41 notes
5 tags
How to enjoy your meager paycheque in these trying...
Convert it into Zimbabwean dollars! $714.51 CAD > 22,086,802,946 ZWD I’m a billionaire! To celebrate, I just ordered three pairs of jeans and a dress from venus.com for $66, or $2,040,179,976, if you’re still working in Zimbabwean dream-currency. http://www.oanda.com/convert/classic, for your paycheque/pocket change
Apr 18th
2 tags
Apr 17th
MacTavish fired as Oilers coach :'( →
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO As an honorary Edmontonian I am heartbroken by this. I love that man. Now who will brutally assault the mascot for the Flames when it gets all up in their grill? They should keep MacTavish and fire the entire team for SUCKING BALLS TOO HARD TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS. AGAIN. The only thing that will make me feel better about this is for the Flames get murdered by...
Apr 16th
3 tags
Late night creepin'
Every so often I like to go on the map page and see if there are any new Tumblrs in Windsor/Detroit for me to creep, for no other reason than I think it’s cool to be near to interesting people. That’s what I’m doing right now, in fact. Hi neighbours!
Apr 16th
2 tags
Phantom Limb
I am supernumerary, illusory, unseen and unheard the weight of my presence does not move the air tension is my only muscle memory, a paralysis that cannot be unlearned by bundles of nerves long since disconnected
Apr 16th
3 tags
Apr 14th
164 notes
6 tags
Apr 13th
4 tags
Apr 13th
March 2009
6 posts
3 tags
Just a thought....
I wonder what it says about the brand, or indeed, the people that wear it, when every time I see a ‘G-Unit’ hoodie, I misread it as ‘Cunt’. Maybe it’s just me?
Mar 31st
5 tags
Candy V2.0 - an excerpt
The first 450-ish words of an actual short story I’m writing, as opposed to the usual flash fiction. Though it is based on an earlier piece of Flash Fiction - Candy. ———- Frankie’s mind raced as he sped down interstate 80, the vastness of the Nevada desert falling away on either side of him. There was nothing here but empty space, and in his current state of paranoia,...
Mar 26th
Mar 25th
8 notes
Seriously, Detroit, what the fuck? →
Mar 24th
5 tags
Flash Fiction Challenge - 'Coincidence'
Selena opened her eyes and found herself alone on the platform. She didn’t remember falling asleep. It was quiet now, nobody else waiting for trains. She wondered what time it was - had the station closed? Why did nobody wake her up? Confused, leaned back against the bench and rubbed her eyes. Her face hurt. In fact, her whole body ached. She remembered her train moving to the top of the...
Mar 16th
5 tags
Candy - AW Flash Fiction Challenge
I participated in the Flash Fiction Challenge again last week, and then totally forgot to post it. I have been remiss lately. This is one that I think actually has potential, and am currently working on a longer version - ie; an actual short story. Wish me luck. ...
Mar 10th
February 2009
4 posts
6 tags
Squee!
Some of my recent work is going to be featured in a new e-zine called The Loaf, based in Ontario. They’re working on the website as we speak, and when it goes up around the end of April, some of my poetry and flash fiction will be featured - OMG PUBLICATION.
Feb 26th
Feb 26th
79 notes
7 tags
Valentine for a summer night...
I try to sleep in tangled sheets Summer heat sticks to my skin Heavy air dulls the night sounds of the city, muted sirens fly by on 178th Oppressive in their wake, the newly silent night holds its breath A gasp of night becomes day Camera flash of lightning turns the world negative Shout of thunder shakes windows in their frames, car alarms harmonize in the street A 2 a.m. Edmonton symphony...
Feb 14th
Feb 12th
9 notes
January 2009
7 posts
This may be the greatest blog of all time. →
Jan 24th
6 tags
Flash Fiction Challenge - "The Package"
I visit a forum called absolutewrite.com, where every Sunday they have a Flash Fiction Challenge. The premise is this: They give you a prompt, and 90 minutes. This is the result of my first foray into writing with a deadline. It was fun! The Package He waited for an age while she stood over it, cooing with admiration. She kept touching it, stroking it, like she couldn’t bear to leave. Finally...
Jan 19th
5 tags
Lost and Found - 100 Words
She hesitated, her hand on the doorknob. The crudely drawn ‘Beware of the Dog’ sign that somebody had pasted to the door did nothing to ease her apprehension. The tiny window revealed nothing of the room beyond, other than a sense of cavernousness - she couldn’t make out where the stacked shelves ended and the ceiling began, and they seemed to stretch back farther than she could...
Jan 17th
Jan 11th
2 tags
Jan 11th
5 tags
Jan 8th
“Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. [Rachael...”
– Anthony Bourdain (via caryrandolph) (via biteofpythias) (via ffffood) YES! (via robot-heart) See also: Giada De Laurentiis. Good Lord, I hate that woman, she’s at least on a par with Rachael Ray, if not slightly above her in the hate-stakes. Also her name makes me think of a parasite, not...
Jan 7th
158 notes
December 2008
16 posts
Typealyzer →
Interesting little thingy that tells you your blog’s personality according to the Briggs-Meyer test.
Dec 31st
1 tag
Dear upstairs neighbour,
Could you make it your New Years resolution to be less obnoxious? You somehow manage to be louder than the weird Christian guy who loved Drum n’ Bass and yelling, who lived upstairs from us in Edmonton. And to be honest, he annoyed me less, because he only had one leg, so I forgave him for always sounding like he was falling over, or rolling around on his computer chair (also I felt bad for...
Dec 31st
Dec 30th
27 notes
4 tags
Flash Fiction project pt.1 - complete
When I first started my Tumblog, I gave myself a little project to allow me to keep busy, keep practicing, and keep updating my Tumblr, and I’ve managed to complete part 1, which was to write five 100-word pieces. Now, I guess I ought to move on to part two, which is to write five 200-word pieces! The next goal after that is five 500-word pieces. Once those are completed, I’ll have a...
Dec 29th
5 tags
Dancer - 100 words
She dances as the band plays, all hips and closed eyes, sinuous in her jade dress. At the edge of the dancefloor, self-concious bar rats stand with drinks in hand, trying to seem uninterested. Consumed by the beat, she sways, oblivious to the eyes she draws - even other enthusiastic dancers pause to watch her now and then. The rhythm swells, reaching a climax, and she seems to glow under the...
Dec 29th
6 tags
Cityscape - 100 words
The skyline is a refugee that hunkers awkwardly over the salted earth and broken glass that used to form a city. Empty windows gaze out at empty skies, mimicing the dead eyes of the people that remain here, like wraiths in a haunted house. As night falls they retreat from the silent streets that they wander during the day, picking through the debris of society. In the sanctuary of their homes,...
Dec 29th
What do you consider unfollowable offenses?
robot-heart: heavysigh: I haven’t unfollowed many people, but the reasons I would if they happened are few. Nudity that is a bit too revealing, nips are ok and if its artsy i’ll let it pass, frangry’s moss pictures are allowable but some have made me jump when i’m in not so private places. I just started following johncody and he posts some male pics that almost push it too, but he is too...
Dec 25th
3 tags
The mysteries of the airport.
Overheard yesterday whilst running for my gate at Chicago O’Hare after a last minute gate-change. We boarded the plane on time! Then sat on the tarmac for 90 minutes waiting to be de-iced. FAIL. Small Boy: Mommy, are you SURE? Harrassed mother, running for her gate: Honey, I honestly have no idea if they have a basement here! Little kids are awesome.
Dec 25th
4 tags
Dec 23rd
41 notes
Dec 17th
34 notes
2 tags
Work Funnies
Me: Sir, are there any dogs or large animals on the property that I should make a note of for your technician? Customer: Nope! Well, my wife. I love my job.
Dec 14th
Dec 14th
125 notes